No one chooses to be a sex worker when their young. Life happens, parents get murdered and dad’s abandon their daughters will generally make sex work not seem so bad. And it’s not, as long as you don’t have family or friends to impress. But after 1 years, Joy is getting tired of doing the same thing. She’s looking into all sorts of other options.
A studio in L.A. was looking for content for their YouTube channel. They wanted to know who had an interesting life story. By interesting, they meant people who have lived in the underworld. They specifically mentioned they were looking for those with tragic life experiences. My wife has seen more tragedy than most. And I’ve had to deal with my own form of anxiety as I’ve dived further into the underworld. My wife has held my hand or sometimes shoved me out of my comfort zone. This had made me face things about my life that I did not want to accept. For starters, I was a duchebag. But, I got better, thanks to my wife. I love my wife and I love my life.
Did you ever wonder why Ben Kenobi had all these powers but barely had enough money to pay Han Solo? It’s because Jedi live minimally, optimize space and manage resources.
Happy Easter is something we haven’t heard since my father died. We do not celebrate holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries with friends or family because my wife is a sex worker. Well, it also might be because they just do not like me, but it wouldn’t matter.
I’ve leaned a lot more about sex from my wife than from my Catholic-raised mother. My mother tried to raise me to believe that sex was nasty & dirty. My wife is Irish-Scottish Native American mix. She taught me that sex is natural and meant to be enjoyed, even if it’s considered “taboo”.
But people who fear sex are usually taught that by their mothers. In Latin American countries, the mothers control the men because they live in a matriarchal society. They say that sex, not money, alcohol or cigarettes, is the root of all evil. From a females point of view in a modern marriage, yes. But what about from the male’s point of view? Sex is actually a necessity for both men and women but they suppress those desires in different ways: men use alcohol or porn and women go shopping and have babies.
My wife and I are exploring other ways of life without having to choose. We trust our feelings and we have open sex. Anyways, my mother spends money instead .
I was living and working in Manhattan when my friends sabotaged me over a girl named Devra. I met Devra through her brother Dan. I met Dan though my childhood friend Greg. Dan and Greg were fraternity brothers. I got to know Dan between 1999 and 2001. Dan and I became very close.
Devra and I had become friends though email. She was living in Seattle and I was in Manhattan. I told my friend Greg that Devra and I were getting acquainted. I could tell he was jealous by the tone in his voice when he asked why we were talking. Everyone knew Greg had a huge crush on Devra. I respected that. But I just spoke to him a few days ago and he brought up Devra. I have not spoken to my friend in 10 years and we are talking about Devra? No judgement from me, but my old friend recently converted to Christianity. He was literally preaching the "sins of the flesh" just before he brings up Devra. Since we are doing the Christianity thing, I think there's a quote in the Bible that goes something like, "How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?" I think its Luke 6:42 or something like that.
FUN FACT: Sexual repression will make people want what they cannot have. So even if you're not attracted to a person, by restricting yourself, you inherently become attracted to that person you're trying not to be attracted to. It's human psychology. You can look it up. Or just ask Sigmund Freud.
Anyways, back to the story. I was dating a woman named Karla at the time. She really wasn't interested in me except that I paid for her to move to New York City. I was totally in love with her. I wanted to marry her but she was just using me. After about a year and a half, I figured it out. So I was planning to break up with Karla after my cousin's wedding in Las Vegas. Then, I'd be free to explore my feelings for Devra. Instead, my friends sabotaged me and cut me off at the same time when I broke up with Karla. I was alone for the very first time in Manhattan. Spoiler alert: I spent the next 20 years not socializing with any friends.
During that time, I became depressed, even suicidal. I had to see two doctors 4 times a week. I was on 5 different medications, including Prozac. I can tell you some stories about Prozac. The fact is pharmaceuticals do not work. They also have side effects. They can make things worse. Much worse. In my case, Prozac made me very uninhibited. Prozac made me think I should quit my job and become a bartender. Prozac will also make a person feel "okay" with their life even if their feelings are telling them to do something different.
Prozac also made me think I could actually date someone as hot as Devra. Devra was way out my league. And she was my best friend's sister. They were both very conservative, intelligent and artistic people. I did not want to screw that up. So we did not hook up until I broke up with Karla. I didn't want to "cheat" even though I knew we were going to break up. I felt it would taint the future of anything I could have with Devra. So I told Devra we should wait. I thought we were cool.
Welp, that plan backfired on me. Devra must have been upset because Devra told Dan and Dan told Greg and Greg told whoever and then the next thing I know, I'm living alone in Manhattan without a friend. That hurt my feelings.
Being alone was not unfamiliar ground. My brother died when I was 3 and my sister is 6 years younger than me and she's schizophrenic. I'm accustomed to being alone. But this was different. This felt like it was I screwed things up yet at the same time, I knew it did not do anything wrong. I felt betrayed.
This is the Ace Hotel in New York City hotel where we lived for a month. Check this out. The Ace Hotel has a Martin Guitar in every room. I always travel with a Martin Guitar that my father gave me in 2000. So for the past 20 years, I have carried it by my side on my travels wherever I go. We actually had two Martin guitars in our room at the Ace Hotel. It was pretty awesome.
For the record, I'm married to a sex worker and we have no kids. We've only been married once, never divorced. We have what you would call an open marriage, obviously. I was brought up conservatively. She was raised without. lot of money and joined the US Air Force. I was the one guy who always had a long term relationship. My wife opened my eyes to a whole new world of experiences.
Ever since men learned that they could control people through religion, governments and churches have been designed to brainwash their followers. Women are physically weaker than men. That's not my opinion, that's evolution. The only way for your ancestors to have made it this far is if the males in your family were able to physically subdue a female. The larger, stronger females did not breed as often The smaller females were easier to catch and control. But over the centuries. men realized that women were actually controlling them through sex.
Sex was considered normal and healthy for about 700 years after Jesus. But when the church learned that men will do anything for sex, they outlawed prostitution in 400 AD and again 700 AD. Before that, sex workers were part of Royal Court and even the Catholic Church. How else do you think they got men to join a religion that said they could never have sex? They had courtesans. Courtesans held a position in the high court for centuries, hence the name "court-esans." . But the Christians outlawed casual sex in 400 AD and the Muslims followed suit 3oo years later in 700 AD. Since then, women have been referred to as the "source of all evil." Other terms are "Sins of the Flesh". Women have been raised to be ashamed of their bodies. Some religions still require women to cover themselves up from head to toe. Men use this justification for violence against women. Men who have repressed sexual urges will become resentful and hateful towards women. But they will resent women with a smile because they also want to be "liked".
I can see it from their point of view: women would appear to be the source of all "evil" if I has sexual urges that I could not satisfy. Think on this for a moment: if we lived in a society where polyamorous beings were allowed to be polyamorous then you would not have cheating, lying and deception. But an open society is difficult to control.
For examples of control note how the church makes it so you must not have sex until marriage and you can't get married unless the church approves. It's a set up. Well, of course every man will fall short of hat unless they have another outlet like porn, bulimia, hypergymnasia (working out excessively), drinking alcohol, drinking caffeine, smoking nicotine, eating sugar, taking drugs, basically anything that will get your mind off your sexual urges. And there you have it: religion was born. Come admit your faults (which aren't faults at all) and drink wine instead. Or cookies. Or cake. Or coffee. Anything but sex.. Hopefully, you can see how the illusion of Christianity is propped up by sugar and caffeine.
You were born a human. You were born polyamorous. Polyamorous means that you have more than one sex partner during your life. Monogamous beings in nature are rare but they do exist. Doves, pigeons, ducks, penguins and basically 99% of all avians are monogamous.
Monogamous means that you only have one sex partner in your life ever. Even if you partner dies, you do not find another partner. That's how doves, cranes, Canadian Geese (and my mother) do it. But if you've ever had more than one sex partner in your life, then you are by definition polyamorous. You cannot go back. But you can pretend you are monogamous and convince yourself that sex is bad. But that is a real hard trip for the brain to handle. The brain evolved to be sexual by nature. Forcing a human to abstain for their natural state is a cruel but a good way to control them. Sex is like oxygen; when you don't have it, it's all you think about. But when you have enough oxygen, you almost never think about oxygen.
What if a person's thoughts and feelings do not align with what other people told them to believe? Conflict occurs. That conflict in the brain will cause depression. So if your brain isn't happy with what you're forcing on it, then "they" will make you take a psychotropic like an SSRI. SSRI's make your brain think everything is just dandy when in fact you feel they are not. Sure, you might have money, a job, a house, a car a wife but you won't be ever happy. Hence, take more Prozac.
After COVID, we lived in hotels instead of locking down a lease due to the high rent prices in Manhattan. Because we have a special diet, we needed to have rooms with kitchenettes to prepare our daily meals. The rooms needed to accommodate smokeless grill. These are the best 5 hotels that are moderately priced in Manhattan:
Bargain Basement but still a really good deal: The Ramada at Times Square, The Candlewood Suites Times Square and the Night Hotel on W. 96th
I found the best way to do prepare yourself to meet the entities on the other side is to get really, really high with your best friend. Add a third friend for some more fun. It's true.
I also found that in order to be free, you must step away from the shelter of your job, school, church, synagogue, mosque, self help group, parents or other "community". You must stand naked before God, Satan, Jesus, Muhammad, Master Time, Death, etc what have you.
Scared? Then, aye, you're not ready; go back and learn some more. I will say it again; smoke some weed as a practice. For example, if you get paranoid, it's probably because you feel guilty about something. Anxiety, depression, and other mental disorders can be cured by using this method.
What are Friends For?
While working on a project, a song came on by Public Image Ltd. I used to listen to this band in high school with my friend Greg. The song basically asks what are friends for? We've all heard the question, but the answer is best stated by John Lydon of Public Image, LTD. Basically, John says that "Friends (coworkers, colleagues, etc) are cowards who shield each other from harsh realities, like sheep."
Disappointed a few people
When friendship reared its ugly head
Disappointed a few people
Well, isn't that what friends are for?
My best friend is a 'working girl.'
It's hard for people to understand, but I fell in love with a sex worker. She is my best friend and we got married in Las Vegas in 2014.
"What?!", all my friends and ex's said.
"How could you marry someone like that?".
My friends, being educated and politically correct, stopped short of suggesting that a sex worker is not a human being. Instead, they just attacked my wife for her alcohol consumption. So she stopped drinking alcohol. Then they got on her for her bulimia. So she stopped being bulimic. No she doesn't eat sugar or drink caffeine either. So what could my ex-friends say? They attack her (and me) for smoking weed.
Joy became my best friend when she helped me when no-one else could. And no, I wasn't paying. In fact, I had lost everything I owned. She knew that. She had a part time job as the concierge in the building where I owned a condo and a small retail business. She came in one day and said "You're missing most of the beer." I said "You don't say".
People who thought they knew me thought that I was sexually open; but I wasn't. I was repressed. My best friend taught me about sex. She taught me that sex is healthy and normal. I shared my deepest secrets with her. She shared facts about women's sexuality. I listened. She changed the way I view sex, sex workers, women, girls, dads, men boys etc. I learned everything I know today a from my best friend who is also now my wife.
I grew up in a well-to-do society. My father was the C.E.O. of a major restaurant chain. My wife's mother was the high-school janitor and her Dad abandoned her family. She grew up not getting what she wanted. I grew up getting more than I wanted. She taught me how it feels to be hungry. She taught me that many people, including children, are hungry. She taught me what it feels like to be scared you won't have rent money. She taught me that many people feel like this every
day but grin and bear it when they go to work. I only wish I had known this when I managed several employees 10 years ago.
But we've both suffered pain. I lost my brother when I was 3 years old. Joy's mother was murdered when she was 20 years old. We are exactly 17 years apart in age. She's helped me grow up from an emotionally unstable 3 year old. She taught me that I was extremely judgmental. I learned that I judged myself, too. I judged my own sexuality. She freed me of my judgment and my obsessions. She broke through my thick walls. I would use higher education, prestige and wealth to keep people at arms length. She wouldn't a have it. She is always able to get to the 'real' me.
I always looked for the people who were less popular. Instead of striving to date teh most popular girl, I chose to date the most attractive and interesting artists. That's probably why I've been hurt but I do not mind.
While society might view me as a weaker man because I let my wife run the show, make the money and choose where we live, I am actually much stronger than other men who call are in complete control. Joy taught me it takes strength to relinquish control. If God is a woman, I think I would like her a lot.
I got Joy a Swiffer Wet Jet for her birthday. It's about the 5th time we've bought one because we move from town to town. But she's so practical. She would not feel right if I bought her expensive jewelry or gifts. I've tried. She finds precious stones wasteful. She finds wasting money on restaurants embarrassing. She taught me it's weird to have someone serve you food. I grew up in restaurants. My dad was the CFO of restaurant chain. I was accustomed to being served.
She taught me that wasting money on useless gifts is a slap in the face to those who are in need of food, clothing, medicine or shelter. She does not want to be the type of woman who serves the poor on Thanksgiving and Christmas then buys herself and her family lavishes gifts. Joy cannot feel good about owning expensive things while other women her age suffer with nothing. Like I said, my wife has unlearned me and taught me more about life than anyone else could possibly know.
That's what happens when you marry a sex worker; you learn a lot about life because sex is the essence of life. Those who think sex is a sin against God have been misled. There is a reason that sex workers are chosen to do the oldest profession in society; they are special. The sex work profession is older than medicine, doctors, nurses, lawyers, pastors and politicians combined. People should listen to what sex workers have to offer instead of trying to 'rescue' them and make them just like everyone else.